Top 5 Love Tarot Reading Mistakes

In today’s post we dive into the top 5 love tarot reading mistakes and how to deal with problematic reading requests in an ethical manner.
top 5 love and relationship tarot reading mistakes

One of the most pressing ethical issues that I often find myself addressing when I teach Tarot is common Love Tarot Reading Mistakes. When I first started doing Tarot readings for others, most of my readings were about love and romance. Typically, clients came to me with questions such as ‘Will he come back?’ or ‘Is this relationship heading toward commitment/marriage?’. Of course, I wasn’t surprised. I was operating a relationship Tarot site called Love Dove Tarot and I loved (still do!) to read about love and romance.

However, no matter what you specialise in as a Tarot reader, you will probably find that many if not most of the reading requests you receive are about love. Unfortunately, some of the requests are about the dark side of love. Questions about a partner cheating are not uncommon, for instance.

Reading for the Highest Good

I have come a long way in my personal development since my Love Dove days and in how I approach readings, whether about romance or any other area of life. If a reading is not for the Highest Good it’s simply not worth doing. For instance, reading about a person cheating cannot lead to anything good for anyone concerned. Even back in the day, I often turned those reading requests down and explained to the Seeker that there were better ways to deal with their situation.

So, without further ado, let’s dive into what I experience as the top 5 Love Tarot Reading Mistakes:

1. Projecting Personal Biases Into the Reading

  • What happens: The reader allows their personal experiences, opinions about love, or assumptions about relationships to colour the interpretation of the cards.
  • Why it’s a mistake: It clouds the reading’s objectivity and might steer the client away from the insights they truly need.
  • Example: Assuming the appearance of The Lovers always indicates a soulmate connection without considering the context. Thus, this is a problem that stems largely from a poor/shallow understanding of the Tarot.

2. Forcing Positive Outcomes

  • What happens: Readers sugarcoat difficult cards or push for a happy ending because they want to give hope or avoid upsetting the client. If you ever watch ‘pick-a-piles’ or ‘message from your person’ type readings on YouTube, you see this a lot.
  • Why it’s a mistake: It undermines the purpose of the Tarot, which is to provide guidance—even when the truth is uncomfortable.
  • Example: Downplaying the 3 of Swords or The Tower and saying, “It’s just a phase” or “It’s behind you,” instead of addressing underlying issues in the relationship.

3. Asking Leading or Disempowering Questions

  • What happens: Using “yes/no” or fatalistic questions like “Will they come back to me?” rather than open-ended questions that encourage reflection and self-improvement.
  • Why it’s a mistake: It reinforces dependency on Tarot readings for reassurance rather than empowering the querent to take action or gain clarity.
  • Example: A better question would be, “What can I learn from this relationship?” or “What steps can I take to heal from this situation?”

4. Over-Reliance on Outcome Cards

  • What happens: The focus is solely on predicting what will happen instead of exploring the client’s emotions, motivations, or the dynamics of the relationship.
  • Why it’s a mistake: It turns the reading into fortune-telling rather than a tool for growth and self-awareness.
  • Example: Skipping over the emotional insights in the spread and jumping straight to the “will they/won’t they” outcome. This becomes an even worse issue if the reader makes it sound as if the outcome is set in stone.
5. Not Setting Boundaries
  • What happens: Rather than setting boundaries and helping the client reframe the question so that it enables personal growth, the reader answers the question in a way that violates the personal boundaries of a third party through psychic spying. Sometimes this problem stems from issues around people pleasing. Other times, the reader simply lacks awareness of ethical boundaries.
  • Why it’s a mistake: It risks delivering irrelevant or unethical advice and diminishes the client’s trust.
  • Example: Accepting a question like “What is my ex thinking about me?” or “Is my ex happy in his new relationship?” instead of reframing it to focus on the client’s growth, such as “What do I need to know to move on from this relationship?”

Diving Deeper into Questions about Cheating

Let’s dive a bit deeper into why reading about cheating is so problematic.

1. Breach of Third-Party Privacy

Why it’s problematic: The querent is essentially asking to spy on someone else’s behaviour or intentions, which crosses ethical boundaries. Tarot is meant to empower the seeker, not invade another person’s privacy.

Alternative: Reframe the question to focus on the querent, such as, “What do I need to know about this relationship?” or “How can I approach my concerns about trust?”

2. Risk of Misinterpretation

Why it’s problematic: Tarot cards are open to interpretation, and their meanings might not directly point to cheating but could easily be misconstrued. For example, cards like The Devil or 7 of Swords may symbolise deceit, but not necessarily infidelity. If there is a chance you could be wrong, don’t say it. (And there is always a chance you could be wrong!)

Alternative: Encourage dialogue around trust and communication rather than definitive accusations.

3. Reinforcement of Anxiety or Insecurity

Why it’s problematic: A querent asking this question may already be in a vulnerable state. Focusing on suspicions rather than solutions can exacerbate their anxiety rather than help them work through it.

Alternative: Ask empowering questions like, “How can I strengthen trust in my relationship?”

4. Creates Dependency on Tarot for Reassurance

Why it’s problematic: If the cards are used to “detect” cheating, the client might return to a Tarot reader for similar reassurances, bypassing necessary conversations or actions in their relationship as we mentioned above. This, in turn, perpetuates toxic mistrust in the relationship (and also lines the pockets of unethical readers).

Alternative: Emphasise the need to take practical steps, such as honest communication or seeking counselling if trust issues persist.

5. Avoiding Accountability

Why it’s problematic: Cheating suspicions might stem from the client’s past experiences, fears, or behaviour patterns. A reading focused on someone else’s actions bypasses the opportunity for the seeker to reflect on their own role in the relationship dynamics. It may be a cliché followed by another cliché but it’s true nonetheless: It takes two to tango and the only person you can change is yourself.

Alternative: Shift the focus inward with questions like, “What is the source of my trust issues?” or “How can I address my feelings about infidelity?”

How to Handle These Questions as a Tarot Reader

  • Reframe the Question: Gently guide your client (or seeker/querent) toward questions that foster self-awareness or relationship growth.
  • Set Clear Boundaries: Be upfront about your ethical stance on third-party questions. For instance, you can say, “I don’t use the Tarot to look into someone else’s actions, but I can help you explore your feelings and options.” Along the same lines, it’s a good idea to put a ‘no third party readings’ clause on your Terms & Conditions page.
  • Offer Practical Advice: Suggest actionable steps such as open communication, therapy, or journaling about their fears and concerns.

Ultimately, doing love and relationship Tarot readings that are for the Highest Good will not only be better for the client’s developmental journey and future relationships; it will benefit the collective (the hive) and raise the consciousness of humanity. After all, that’s what we strive for as Tarot readers, right?

If you enjoyed this blog post, make sure to check out ‘Avoid the Number One Tarot Reading Mistake.’

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